Friday, February 27, 2009

Flicked! :)

"Remember good things happen to good people."

"You're crazy different."

"My sweetest girlfriend."

"If you don't wear kajal, I will not let you keep your wallet in my bag."

"I'll beat up a thousand Xs,Ys, Zs if they ever hurt you."

"Paaji, coffee session, Mosque road."

"You're so versatile. Obviously there's something wrong with the other side."

"Cheapo! If you come to my city and don't meet me, I'll curse you."

"Poppet, you've forgotten me! Pukka toh!"

"Subway date?"

"No matter which girl comes in my like, you're always mera No. 1."

"Daily Bread now has something named after you. It's called the Herbalicious Panini."

"Squirrel"

"Loosu"

"Someone like you is just that."

"Drama Queen. My Drama Queen."

"Who'll ever give you this kind of freedom, bake cakes for you all the time, take you to every restaurant in the city? I'm not just mom. I'm Supermom!"

"When you're upset, it makes me sad."

"Come here, let's sing our signature song."

"You have sweet blood."

Me: I think Muffin's Aryan. Light eyes, sharp, long nose, fair skin - she has it all. On the other side - "I have one question. How did TISS accept you? :P"

"Your smile floored me."

"Are there chocolates in your fridge? Then I'll come."

"We're high and we miss you."

"I look like the person in the mirror and absolutely love her."

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Paper Bag

I was staring at the sky, just looking for a star
To pray on, or wish on, or something like that
I was having a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy
Whose reality I knew, was a hopeless to be had
But then the dove of hope began its downward slope
And I believed for a moment that my chances
Were approaching to be grabbed
But as it came down near, so did a weary tear
I thought it was a bird, but it was just a paper bag

Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love

And I went crazy again today, looking for a strand to climb
Looking for a little hope
Baby said he couldn't stay, wouldn't put his lips to mine,
And a fail to kiss is a fail to cope
I said, 'Honey, I don't feel so good, don't feel justified
Come on put a little love here in my void,' he said
'It's all in your head,' and I said, 'So's everything'
But he didn't get it I thought he was a man
But he was just a little boy

Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love
Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love


I quite like Fiona Apple.

!

I believe that in some ways I am extremely weird. This is a classic case. If something or someone upsets me, after staying irritable and angry for a while, I go on to brighten another person's moment. Was it the note on Facebook that I was tagged in that has set this off or was it the mood the song put me in or was it something else? I will never know but the point is I'm in high spirits. I'll ignore my aloof side for a bit and go on with the post. And for now, I think I'll pick the song.

Pits, DB, Chims, Chubby, Piggy, BTM, Agi, Radio Partner, Kary, PBR, Rohi, Meers, Tara Girl, Paro, Tannie, Lamster, Moley, Esha, Dhols, Tuts, Coach, Teddy, Dinku, Viv, Onjus, First Crush, Drummer Boy, And All, Maruti/Chakrukolundai, Xubs, Rain, Buzz, C Boy, Hari baby, Nishu, Niti, Paneer Paul, Shreyas, Ramuuu, AD - This one's for all of you. For putting up with everything, for sharing everything, for giving me a truckload of memories. Pick your favourite. Save it for life :)

Monday, February 23, 2009

I Need To:

Learn to be mean.

Learn to not bother. No matter how hard i try, some people are just jackasses.

Meet new people... this should be clubbed with my long standing need - I have to go for dance classes.

Tone down the expression.

Finish those wretched assignments.

Get rid of the love handles. Come March and I'm turning this into a full time hobby

Go on a holiday! The sibling's willing to sponsor it.

Spend my time more constructively.

Stay locked in my room.

Find my peace of mind... piece of mind... whatever works.

Buy a pair of jeans and those bright wall climbers.

Listen to the doctor.

Listen to the mater with undivided attention and take notes for future reference.

Lock up "Pandora's Box", wrap it in chains and throw it into the ocean.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

List!

Sudden declaration during an exam in class 8.

A call that my mother handled in the most hilarious manner.

The letter.

The best kept "secret" of school.

Coy smiles and chocolates on my birthday

The only one that stared on the sly.

The big joke! And the only mistake :P

Weird naval officer.

The cutest flirt I've known.

10 months of sheer happiness.

Out of the blue, "What would you like for your birthday?"

Inane ideas, attempts to be best friends, Christmas green presents.

The workshop.

Alien.

The smile.

Compliment on my porch.

"We gel so well."

The frozen dessert.

Whiny! Eeew!

Stubble!

Threatening to enact a scene from a Psycho thriller.

Big city. Big dreams.

Inappropriate! Yuk!

Cute but falls short.

And... The unanswered question and carefully avoided topic :)

*Laughs in the hnhnhnhnnnnnn style*

Saturday, February 21, 2009

All The World's A Stage

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.


Read it when I was 13. Thought I understood it. It still amazes me. Especially the first two lines.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Those Things!

Weird or not, have you ever felt that to extract every little bit of an experience, it's the person that counts? Ceteris paribus, you change the person in the picture and it doesn't give you the same high? I sense it most of the time. There are these things that I do with some of my friends which plays a huge part in the way we relate to each other and no matter how hard I try, I cannot recreate the whole experience with anybody else. Here are some of them from my list

Coffee sessions at Coffee Day and ordering the same things - Tropical Iceberg with chocolate sauce, Chocolate Fantasy and chattering away for hours together is a very BTM and Me thing! We exchange news, views, gossip and what not when we have one of our meetings.

DB and I are loafing partners. Aimless walks, bike rides, laughing loudly on the road, sitting on the footpath and making faces; the only other participant in these inane activities is a bag of roasted peanuts IF and ONLY IF the weather is right.

Chims is the only person who I can talk to over the phone. Ha! We studied in the same school and this was pretty much how our day would be - Meet at the bus stop, yak yak, during the ride to school - yak yak, walk to the classroom, yak yak, between classes (via chits and notes) yak yak, bus ride back home, yak yak, on the steps (though both of us would be shaking thanks to our bladders) yak yak, run home, relieve ourselves, eat lunch, pick up the phone and talk for an hour at least - And here let me tell you that she stayed a floor above my house - Meet downstairs and talk all evening while sitting on the bench, get back home, speak for 45 mins on the phone and then meet again at the bus stop the next morning. No, we never got sick of each other and don't see that happening either. But I'm sure it drove our mothers up the wall :P

Food! Anytime, anywhere, any amount and Pits is always ready. You would be shocked at the quantities we can consume in one sitting. Don't get fooled by her frame. I really don't know where she hides it all. Ha! Food, she and I are going to be best friends for life.

To sing non stop with my guitar, try all kinds of voice modulations, covers, sing the same song 7 times in a row - PBR, there's no one else who will agree to all of it.

Shopping = Rith! If it's not my mom, the only other person who has the time, interest, inclination and patience to shop with me is Chubby. And it gives us all the time in the world to bond... 10 years now and you would think we'd beat Fevicol but nope! We still have a LOT to talk about. Fun times, I say :)

Somehow the artsy craftsy things are soul stirring only with Ro. Li'l Piggy and I share a common frame of mind and the same kind of things appeal to us. In simple terms, she just gets it :)

I can eat a chocolate rum tart from Melting Moments in that dingy little shop in the basement only with Xubs. I've tried many time to do it by myself but it just isn't the same thing!

Scrabble and Mom go hand in hand. It's a very "Us" thing to sit in the family room and play a game of scrabble while watching a movie.

My ice cream at Baskin Robbins without Drummer Boy is a wasted affair. I can't wait for him to come back. I have partially sworn off Bavarian Chocolate till then.

Something happens to Dhols and me when we're on the road. We start fighting like little kids, push each other into puddles and open drains, run around, try slipping each others shoes off, whack each other... I don't think there's anyone else who'll put up with such levels of madness.

I thought I was the only one who knew the lyrics of all those early 90's hindi songs. Then I met my Radio Partner. Tan tana tan tantan tara, Meri pant bhi, Ram jaane... all of them with the music and beats :P

I shall keep updating the list when I figure some more out.
We pretend to have a secret but never talk about it because we know that it's inconsequential. Everybody around us sees it while we're just having the time of our lives and often wonder what's wrong with the world. We seek an approval from each other. We have pseudo fights and weird nicknames.We have almost nothing in common and still have something to talk about every time we meet. We entertain each other all the time. We make a baking deal and never stick to it. We have a "post dated cheque" sort of pact... 5 years down the line... In some odd sense, we fit into the other parts rather well. We wonder what's wrong when there's no communication. We would kill each other for chocolate. We share a level of comfort that does not happen too many times in life.

We're 6 years old, absolutely insane, have little or no direction in life and somehow it doesn't bother us, possess laughter that is contagious, handle each other perfectly and no matter what happens, we won't give up on our friendship. It's just very reassuring.

You have the freedom to call me demanding, annoying, whiny, rude, fat, tomboyish, mad.... I still know I'm your favourite :P

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Ha! It's been so long that that I almost missed the signs! The emotionless behaviour towards all that is supposedly on my list of priorities, the feeling of "not fitting in", the ability to hold my tears back just when I think they're about to flow incessantly and be okay with it, the burning need to stay away from most people and enjoy some me-space, the spurts of energy and feeling great about learning something new everyday? It's all a part of my life... like a diamond pattern that re-appears on my fabric. Geddit?? Nope? Don't expect you to. This was EXACTLY how it was 4 years ago!!! And I've been waiting for it to hit me... it finally has... which means the best things are just round the corner! *punches the air* The paradigm shift has happened!!! :)

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

For once I would just like to be treated like a woman. Not like a round vegetable you poke and roll all over the place nor like a little girl who needs to be checked at every point. Shell hunting time it is...

Monday, February 16, 2009

Have you ever screwed up your life so badly that it begins to resemble a tragic comedy or a comic tragedy? And you don't know whether you should laugh or cry? Pat on my back! Aaargh!!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Random! again :P

Dinner with the parents at the club! Surprisingly it was a very pleasant army party. Great flow of conversation, lovely weather and finally got treated like a 22 year old. Received an unexpected compliment. Reminded me of the kind the bookshop owner gave me once. All smiles :) Mom, of course, relates it to a childhood tale :P

Heading towards my first supplementary. I don't feel bad about it. After all the tension that was brewing and the constant irritation, it's ok for me to breathe again. I know exactly what I want and how I want to grow along with the course. I think I'm ready to welcome the passion again.

One measly message. Just for me to know.

Reliving yesterday... especially two of my favourite moments... and am not in the mood to share the cookies.

Genuinely happy for Dhols. Very happy. It's not my approval that really matters. Pumpkin just wants you have that smile plastered across your face all the time. Will let the mater know about your craving for food :P

Don't like the sweetness to be misunderstood as anything else. Also figured that I'm not as mushmallowy as I think I am. And yes, I just made up a word.

I want a daughter as cute as Muff is. Or a son as gentlemanly as Knutz. Someday! If Ro's story has to come true :P

Fowder Fink!!

I love the way my silver jewelery is sparkling. G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S!

Mallu food rocks. Make that Palaghat Iyer food!

Miss the family's long legged guitar picking man. Uffff!

Holiday, holiday, holiday... I want!!

Skeleton in the cupboard.. LOL! Cracks me up everytime.

Straight as a scale but single, unavailable, mad, fun and most importantly happy! :)

*Muah*
to the world. Anyone who's been a part of it!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Three hugs, a peck on the head, dinner with the girls, flowers, a midnight rendezvous, cookies.... far from corny :P... Valentine's Day couldn't get any better! I chose to celebrate friendship! :)

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Phew!

I am exhausted. I feel like I am going to collapse and take a very long time to stand up again. Strangely, I haven't done anything to tire myself out. Physically that is. I'm losing interest in everything. Like P says, there's zero motivation (and to think she wrote a term paper on self motivation. Ha!) I'm holding onto a few people, a few memories but somewhere I feel even that's not going to last. I want to zone out. Space out. Stay away from everything. Close my eyes, block my ears, zip my mouth and just free fall. Forget about the world for a while. Take a long walk and not turn back. And return with brio! FK!!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

On My Bookshelf



Read. Re-read. Will pick it up again on a sunny day. Or just any day.
Don't like the day. Feel like locking myself up in my room and staying there. Something's annoying me. I am not kicked up about any of the plans that are being made, I don't want to meet too many people, I want to be left by myself. And I'm not PMSing so there's really something wrong. Don't like!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

I'm a sucker for love. There, I said it. Pink hearts, warm fuzzies, awwws, happy endings, fluttery flittery, melted chocolate-ness - All that and more. That would explain the sugar coated messages that are being released from my phone from time to time. Not because I've been stoned/drunk/spaced out. (Like I told someone I'm the quintessential good girl:P). I have had this unusual buzz running through me the entire week and it feels wonderful. And it's limitless and not restrictive. The people I meet, the places I go, the things I do... I feel like sprinkling love and care on everything and everyone. It's amazing when you come from a space of abundance, no matter how much you give, there's still more you're capable of giving.

"It is not so much true that all the world loves a lover as that a lover loves all the world."

This morning, all of me has been captured in that glowing warmth :)
One bike on its centre stand. A million mosquitoes. Two extremely mad people - one who I believe belongs to the old world and the other resembles a round, orange vegetable. A free flowing conversation. Two kinds of laughter, don't know which is contagious. A walk to the bus stop. The same question unanswered and that's how it should be. A sense of comfort and understanding. A ride back home.

A friendship that's magical.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

The air is fresh and untouched by dust and grime. The clear blue water embraces her feet. She has her back to the world. Woman. Child. Girl. Unknown. Pristine. Just like her long, flowy garment. The sun rises that morning just for her and kisses her face. Her eyes sparkle with mischief. Alone, not lonely. Human yet content. She takes a step towards the wet sand. No promises to keep. Just her soul, her shadow and she.

"Hey Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you"

Monday, February 2, 2009

And after a rather weird buzz in my head and a lot of sleep, I feel like my life doesn't have any bumps right now. Everything's nice and smooth. Considering how blah I felt yesterday, it's a welcome change. (Strangely, everyone I met yesterday was feeling blah. Like Agi said, it was the Blah air we were taking in).

One conversation left me really, really happy. I hope everything works out for you this time. With no birthdays in between.

One conversation I wish we had. Hmmmm...

One conversation I remember only bits and pieces of! Note to self - Keep your mouth closed when you're drunk AND extremely sleepy!

And today I feel extremely happy.

*sigh*