:)

It's amazing what sleep can do to you. Or maybe it was the conversation before I slept. Yeah, come to think of it, it was just that.

I'll rewind a little. When I woke up this morning, there were these thoughts that kept troubling my mind. It just kept going back to the same old thing. What went wrong, what could've been different, why?? Some parts felt nice, some crummy and others were being pushed into the don't-think-about-it category. Overall, I felt like I was gonna laugh about all of it with tears in my eyes. Then a chat window opened up and though I put up quite a struggle to suppress all that I was going through and why I felt that way, I gave in. Sometimes I hate myself for being expressive. But then that's how I am built. Unknowingly, a lot opened up for me in that conversation. Most importantly, acceptance.

It's funny how when you go through a rough patch, you turn cynical about things around you, beat yourself hard, play the blame game, feel like pond scum or arrogant and irrespective of what anyone else says or does, heart of hearts you know you want to reach out to that one person. All the while long, you ask yourself one question - Was it really worth it?

It was. Every dinky, daft and delightful bit. It may have not been the way I wished for it to be, I may have not got all that I wanted, given all that I could have but if I look back, I know at that point of time, I was truly happy and nothing will ever change that.

I doubt if you will ever read this and if you don't it's okay :) It's just to say thank you for being a part of my life; For being a pain, a dumdum, a confidant, a friend. For holding me close, however brief a period, and showing me those levels of happiness that border on insanity. Like I told you once, it is probably illegal :) We may never share all that we did, may never have our silly fights, arguments, drama, random conversations again or spend a moment together but I think it's fair that we make our choices without an ounce of bitterness. And smile because it happened :)

And a huge hug to a mad girl living in Hyd who believes in rainbows, butterflies, sunshine, sugar and spice and everything nice. We're so alike! Muah!! :)