It seemed that way. All the symptoms were present. I was ready to cut off from the world. I like those little breaks I get. My indifference folder would swell up as I would enter a state of limbo. All things.. good or bad.. neglected. The stage was set. And then, it passed me. Skipped me like I didn't exist and moved on with the wind while I was left far behind. My thoughts have been spiraling ever since.
Pettiness and egos take the front seat while relationships are bumped off. From the eyes of this 24 year old, some slices of the world seem insane and murky. The same old inner conflict rears its ugly head and I'm caught in a moment I can't get out of. Snap, snap, turn caustic, pass snide remarks, stay defensive and cynical and at the end of the day, be contrite about what's happening. Why couldn't that phase just take me along with it? Listlessness is a familiar lane for me and I would've known exactly what to do. My indifference folder did have enough space. Right now, I feel like stooping real low and in a burst of immaturity, giving it all back in full measure...
Whoever this is, whatever has taken over, I don't like it. But I want to live it all and let it die a natural death. And then....
repent in leisure.
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