The whole of last week has been crazy! Things moved so fast that I was on the verge of burning out. Thankfully my support system arrived on time and saved me from any irreversible damage. I still feel as normal/weird as normal/weird can be :)

I have always been brutally honest with myself and with people who mean something to me. I don't know any other way. Most parts of last year I had this constant worry that I had forgotten how to manage relationships and was becoming a self centred bum. By the end of the year, everything fell into place and it was just perfect! In fact I'm out to better a certain friendship that I was running away from. Yay! I used all of last week to catch up on some Me Time and I am amazed at how much I've learned about... ummm.. me! At no point did I fake how I felt and that's nice. Anyway, on new year's someone told me that I strike him as genuine ;) *blush* After all the rubbish I've been listening to, I'm glad it comes across that way.

If I have been honest and expressive about the flip floppiness generated, it's only fair that I see other side without being prejudiced. People will get their comeuppances without me wishing for it. That's what is beautiful about life. It's a complete circle. I probably learned it the hard way but at least it is a lesson that I draw strength from. DB (bless that girl's soul!) and I often wonder why some people enter our lives at all. Only those who want to stay should be given a key. Well DB, here's what I think. We get to learn from their experiences and sometimes we realise that we're extremely lucky to not be born as them. When I was 7,there were days that I felt like asking my mom why she always told me that the world is good, people are good. It seemed like everyone out there was only trying to screw you and you were the bumbling idiot who tried to maintain a difference and exhibit maturity well beyond your years. Looking back, I can't thank her enough for drilling it into my head. Be kind... for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle. It's something I want to pass down to the next generation.

Speaking of that, I have two things to say. Firstly, I believe that mothers come with in built radars. They just always know!! Don't ask me how, why.. they just do!!! Last night, when I sat down to tell my mom everything that was eating me up from the inside, all she said was: I knew it! Annoyingly amusing. And it kicks me to no end that someday my radar will be activated too. When it gets activated, coming to my second thought, I know who I'd pick as a godfather (nope, not the Don Vito Corleone kind). This one is just nice, mad and wise. Talk about long term planning. Let's see how long it lasts. Sometimes I wish I could jump into the future and see where I'd be 5 years from now; where would my girls be. Each one of them is simply gorgeous! Am I fortunate or what to have a support system like that!

It's funny how an event happening across the globe could have such a deep impact on you. I watched Obama's inaugural ceremony last night. I love the man. I don't know about you but I sure felt like history was being created and I was a part of it. And ultimately, how trivial everything seemed in the big picture. I know exactly where I am heading and for the first time in three months, I understand what passion means. As a victim of the age of consumerism, I have to say - I'm loving it!! :)

"It's like a mystery movie. The first time you watch it, you're curious to know how the story goes. Every minute you push yourself to expect the unexpected; that there's a twist in the tale and you're looking forward to it. The end thrills you or leaves you disappointed. Now go and watch the movie with a friend. You know exactly how it's gonna be. Some bits still excite you. But now you can predict almost everything."

This conversation with Piggy kept replaying in my head on Thursday night. We both know what we were referring to. It was an observation. Every experience just helped us build character and learn a million lessons. We grew into certain kinds of people. And that is something I'm thankful for. I'm way too spaced out to react dramatically or question all that was shared. I'm just letting it be.

I have absolutely no hard feelings or regrets. I still think that the person in question is wonderful. The only thing that kept pricking me was the sudden appearance of glass walls. Things weren't going to be the same and I didn't know how to deal with it. Now I do.

Someone very, very, very important once asked me how I could still be friends with him considering all the "stories" I've heard. Here's your answer. Just your underlying sense of honesty defines my relationship with you. You're pragmatic and are one of the few people who can knock sense into my head. You comfort me like magic. Thursday night when I couldn't think straight and was troubled beyond words, it took one message from you to shift everything fundamentally. The next morning, I woke up to a sunshine-y day. I don't have to be high to tell you that you're my best friend.

One fine day
You'll look at me
And you will know our love was
Meant to be
One fine day
You're gonna want me for your girl
The arms I long for
Will open wide
And you'll be proud to have me
By your side
One fine day
You're gonna want me for your girl
Though I know you're the
Kind of boy
Who only wants to run around
I'll keep waiting and
Someday darling
You'll come to me when you want to settle down oh
One fine day
We'll meet once more
And then you'll want the love you
Threw away before
One fine day
You're gonna want me for your girl
One fine day
We'll meet once more
And then you'll want the love you
Threw away before
One fine day
You're gonna want me for your girl

I know why I connect with the song. Yep, One Fine Day....

To two extremely important people in my life:

Stop screwing around, take responsibility for what exists and quit abusing what we share!

Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned!

I am full of beans, my day's planned out, I care two hoots for the mysterious behaviour, I am going to meet one of my favourite people and I feel kicked about being a girl!!

Monday morning blues? Naaaaaahhh! Not me! :)

Pearls of Wisdom :P

"Sometimes when people say that they need space, they actually need a galaxy."

So says Pits and I concur.

I Do Not Love You

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

that this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

- Pablo Neruda

Yes, We feel flip floppily happy. It takes a few words to make us melt.... *mmmm*